I pretty much conpletely stopped using makeup after college. granted, I never used it much to begin with because my mom would only allow me to use it for special occasions until I hit high school (and i was too low energy to be messing with it daily lol). but stopping really does rewire your brain. I know I have a lot more flexibility to do so as a white woman, but I definitely do notice that men judge me more now that I no longer bother with it. I minored in gender studies at uni, it's one thing to know theory and another to have the experience of a dude sitting at a table with you and your roommate and have him pretend you literally aren't there.
funnily enough I worked in the shoe department of a store while I was at uni, and it could probably be argued that shoes were my addiction. I have at least a dozen heels I bought from the 3 years I worked there, and I never wear them anymore (not even bc I don't want to, I just don't have any reason to lol). it's kind of crazy how we're taught to value fashion and makeup and all these ways to prioritize our beauty, but then we are often mocked if we care too much or too little about it.
there are also things to say about feminity, queerness/gender nonconformity, and -- as you rightfully pointed out -- a stereotypical idea of Blackness being praised more when it is a performance by someone outside that identity than when it's someone expressing themselves in their own skin. but I don't think I can coherently verbalize my thoughts on that rn.
i’m always looking forward to seeing your long comments. they always touch something inside of me and i love having this connection to my readers. this really gave me such an insight to what it means to be a woman and honestly yeah, i never realized how much being attractive is pushed as an end goal of womanhood. and i’m definitely a shoe addict too 😭
aw well I’m glad you enjoy my jumbled thoughts! I feel like I’m always doing some internal digging when I read your essays and I try my best to verbalize the thoughts you prompt. 🫶
introspection is really hard! I certainly didn’t have the skills to express the things you do when I was your age, hell I don’t think I figured out how to verbalize a lot of these things until the past ~3-4 years when I kind of had to do a lot of this on my own after my ex dumped me lol.
loved this! I agree with you and I don’t think your words will be misconstrued! your point was very clear.
tysm liv! you are so appreciated!
I pretty much conpletely stopped using makeup after college. granted, I never used it much to begin with because my mom would only allow me to use it for special occasions until I hit high school (and i was too low energy to be messing with it daily lol). but stopping really does rewire your brain. I know I have a lot more flexibility to do so as a white woman, but I definitely do notice that men judge me more now that I no longer bother with it. I minored in gender studies at uni, it's one thing to know theory and another to have the experience of a dude sitting at a table with you and your roommate and have him pretend you literally aren't there.
funnily enough I worked in the shoe department of a store while I was at uni, and it could probably be argued that shoes were my addiction. I have at least a dozen heels I bought from the 3 years I worked there, and I never wear them anymore (not even bc I don't want to, I just don't have any reason to lol). it's kind of crazy how we're taught to value fashion and makeup and all these ways to prioritize our beauty, but then we are often mocked if we care too much or too little about it.
there are also things to say about feminity, queerness/gender nonconformity, and -- as you rightfully pointed out -- a stereotypical idea of Blackness being praised more when it is a performance by someone outside that identity than when it's someone expressing themselves in their own skin. but I don't think I can coherently verbalize my thoughts on that rn.
i’m always looking forward to seeing your long comments. they always touch something inside of me and i love having this connection to my readers. this really gave me such an insight to what it means to be a woman and honestly yeah, i never realized how much being attractive is pushed as an end goal of womanhood. and i’m definitely a shoe addict too 😭
aw well I’m glad you enjoy my jumbled thoughts! I feel like I’m always doing some internal digging when I read your essays and I try my best to verbalize the thoughts you prompt. 🫶
introspection is really hard! I certainly didn’t have the skills to express the things you do when I was your age, hell I don’t think I figured out how to verbalize a lot of these things until the past ~3-4 years when I kind of had to do a lot of this on my own after my ex dumped me lol.
this, from beginning to end, is so exceedingly true and beautifully written
thank you so much for being here. i’m so glad that this found you 🤍
Relate to this deeply and I'm glad you wrote this.
comments like this make it worth it. ty for being here <3
a very thoughtful piece, truly a great read 🫶
maria i love you. tysm for being here.
loved this SO much start to finish, thank you for writing
this means the world to me. thank you SO much.