I think we spend so much time trying to understand ourselves, and revelation is so hard-won it can be easy to forget not to let it narrow our focus, to become habitual in our creative approaches as a result. And when those revelations have been co-opted into an aesthetic by the larger culture, it's confusing--we all want to be part of something. It's so powerful that you've chosen to push against these definitions to go farther into your craft and storytelling, to create art that will connect to its readers and make them reconsider their same definitions, and that you've shared that here.
And I would say all this even without that INCREDIBLY generous opening note. Thank you. I am so happy to know you're out here writing what you want.
"Still, the initial setup just wasn’t working. And here’s the thing: I think it’s because I’m no longer interested in reading about it."
I LOVE this so much--I'm fascinated by how our creative work changes amidst our own personal growth and developments in taste. I also am a firm believer that we cannot be writing something that we wouldn't want to read! Writing the *exact* book I personally want to read, the book that doesn't exist yet because it could only be written by me, is the main thing that keeps me chugging away at my manuscript. That shit takes endurance, and I can't endure unless I really love the work like that. I think it's amazing that you paused to reflect on how to shift your novel in a way that reflects what is emotionally resonant to you right now. I totally agree, it sounds like that heroine characterization change kept the spark alive.
Love this piece and loved hearing about the emotional reflections involved in your creative process. Knowing that I helped inspire it is truly so meaningful. Sending you lots of love and lotssss more creative flow! <3
lindsey, you are such a sweetheart its insane. thank you for such a wonderful comment. i hope you know that i am wishing you exactly the same and i will be first in line for your novel when it hits the shelves!
very intrigued by your book, wish i had the words to say how much i love this. i've been grappling with similar thoughts recently, best summarized by "who am i, if not devastated?" it's like when we've been suffering for so long, it becomes easy to forget that we're allowed to be anything else. and it's becoming so much harder to remember, with the romantic glorification of it, that sadness isn't all there is or ever will be. i really hope so much that i and anyone in similar shoes can get to that place where, as you put it, we can be kind to our sadness. that's such a beautiful way to put it.
"i still hug her, and let her hair get caught on my glossed lips, but i make her sit in her own chair instead of on top of me." this stuck with me, and thank YOU for writing it <33
you are so welcome. this comment has to be one of my favorites i've ever received. i felt exactly like this for a long time and then slowly realized i had space for both my sadness and the other parts of myself. it's definitely gradual not immediate, but it's possible. sending you so much love <3
ah i'm so glad!! this was so reassuring to hear, it's definitely possible and i love that you've reached that point for yourself. always sending even more love your way 🤍
“It’s not that my own sadness is smaller but more that I’ve found a way to be kind to it, so it no longer becomes all of me but only some of me.”
I just loved this piece wow. I’ve had an emotional year and am having a bit of an identity crisis because of it but I don’t want to be defined by all these things. And this piece made me realize I don’t have to be.
You are a beautiful writer and I hope the rest of your book writing goes well!💌
this year has been one of the hardest in my life but i’m realizing that i’m going through it and doing the best i can. i hope you realize you are too! i’m so glad that this piece resonated with you and thank you!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾
reading this a second time in 24h because it somehow feels even more relevant now- I love this piece and I love the way it’s holding up a mirror to reckon with what I put out. On one hand not every piece needs to be balanced with positive and negative emotions, it’s fine for a sad piece to just be sad, but in an overall collection of work I’d like to think that most of us have both. This got me thinking about how easy it is for someone to read one piece about how sad you are, and assume that’s what you embody- are they disappointed when you’re happy in the next one? Do they feel that the previous piece is suddenly insincere? Either way, I’d hope that most writers have enough joy and love in their life to at least write a little about it (I think I do). Thank you for writing <3
“If I don’t work to become aware of it, my worth will be inherent to the strength of my tragedy.
It’s like who am I if not devastated?”
Becoming a creature of habit is comforting until it leaves you stewing away in despair and realizing one day that not only can you get up, you should get up.
This was beautiful and spoke directly to me. Down to being a diaspora girlie who enjoys a good Lana album. I’m wishing you the best with your book 💕
And a huge thank you to you, for being so true not only to yourself, but true to your future readers! I’m so honored to know that you thought of me, and i’ll be thinking about you as well and about your creative journey once you decide to share the beautiful fruits of your work with us! I’m sure it’s beautiful and i wish you nothing but the best things and i’ll always be here for you whenever you need me!!! Sending you much love!!! ✨🥹🩷
i am french :) my family is haitian and french (crazy i know) and i’m so glad you picked up on that <333 tysm for reading. this comment means the world to me.
I think we spend so much time trying to understand ourselves, and revelation is so hard-won it can be easy to forget not to let it narrow our focus, to become habitual in our creative approaches as a result. And when those revelations have been co-opted into an aesthetic by the larger culture, it's confusing--we all want to be part of something. It's so powerful that you've chosen to push against these definitions to go farther into your craft and storytelling, to create art that will connect to its readers and make them reconsider their same definitions, and that you've shared that here.
And I would say all this even without that INCREDIBLY generous opening note. Thank you. I am so happy to know you're out here writing what you want.
this comment is one i will remember for a long time. thank you for leaving it and being who you are. sending you all my love <3
"Still, the initial setup just wasn’t working. And here’s the thing: I think it’s because I’m no longer interested in reading about it."
I LOVE this so much--I'm fascinated by how our creative work changes amidst our own personal growth and developments in taste. I also am a firm believer that we cannot be writing something that we wouldn't want to read! Writing the *exact* book I personally want to read, the book that doesn't exist yet because it could only be written by me, is the main thing that keeps me chugging away at my manuscript. That shit takes endurance, and I can't endure unless I really love the work like that. I think it's amazing that you paused to reflect on how to shift your novel in a way that reflects what is emotionally resonant to you right now. I totally agree, it sounds like that heroine characterization change kept the spark alive.
Love this piece and loved hearing about the emotional reflections involved in your creative process. Knowing that I helped inspire it is truly so meaningful. Sending you lots of love and lotssss more creative flow! <3
lindsey, you are such a sweetheart its insane. thank you for such a wonderful comment. i hope you know that i am wishing you exactly the same and i will be first in line for your novel when it hits the shelves!
thank you so much and SAME, cannot wait to read yours!!
very intrigued by your book, wish i had the words to say how much i love this. i've been grappling with similar thoughts recently, best summarized by "who am i, if not devastated?" it's like when we've been suffering for so long, it becomes easy to forget that we're allowed to be anything else. and it's becoming so much harder to remember, with the romantic glorification of it, that sadness isn't all there is or ever will be. i really hope so much that i and anyone in similar shoes can get to that place where, as you put it, we can be kind to our sadness. that's such a beautiful way to put it.
"i still hug her, and let her hair get caught on my glossed lips, but i make her sit in her own chair instead of on top of me." this stuck with me, and thank YOU for writing it <33
you are so welcome. this comment has to be one of my favorites i've ever received. i felt exactly like this for a long time and then slowly realized i had space for both my sadness and the other parts of myself. it's definitely gradual not immediate, but it's possible. sending you so much love <3
ah i'm so glad!! this was so reassuring to hear, it's definitely possible and i love that you've reached that point for yourself. always sending even more love your way 🤍
I feel so seen here. thank you so, so much for sharing. it's sweet to share a community with writers like you 💌
of course my love. you are deeply talented and so incredible. i’m so glad you exist
“It’s not that my own sadness is smaller but more that I’ve found a way to be kind to it, so it no longer becomes all of me but only some of me.”
I just loved this piece wow. I’ve had an emotional year and am having a bit of an identity crisis because of it but I don’t want to be defined by all these things. And this piece made me realize I don’t have to be.
You are a beautiful writer and I hope the rest of your book writing goes well!💌
this year has been one of the hardest in my life but i’m realizing that i’m going through it and doing the best i can. i hope you realize you are too! i’m so glad that this piece resonated with you and thank you!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾
reading this a second time in 24h because it somehow feels even more relevant now- I love this piece and I love the way it’s holding up a mirror to reckon with what I put out. On one hand not every piece needs to be balanced with positive and negative emotions, it’s fine for a sad piece to just be sad, but in an overall collection of work I’d like to think that most of us have both. This got me thinking about how easy it is for someone to read one piece about how sad you are, and assume that’s what you embody- are they disappointed when you’re happy in the next one? Do they feel that the previous piece is suddenly insincere? Either way, I’d hope that most writers have enough joy and love in their life to at least write a little about it (I think I do). Thank you for writing <3
comments like this make me want to keep writing. thank you for understanding the nuance of what i was trying to say. love u <3
so much love <33
“If I don’t work to become aware of it, my worth will be inherent to the strength of my tragedy.
It’s like who am I if not devastated?”
Becoming a creature of habit is comforting until it leaves you stewing away in despair and realizing one day that not only can you get up, you should get up.
This was beautiful and spoke directly to me. Down to being a diaspora girlie who enjoys a good Lana album. I’m wishing you the best with your book 💕
thank you so so much. i’m so glad this piece found you 🫶🏾
And a huge thank you to you, for being so true not only to yourself, but true to your future readers! I’m so honored to know that you thought of me, and i’ll be thinking about you as well and about your creative journey once you decide to share the beautiful fruits of your work with us! I’m sure it’s beautiful and i wish you nothing but the best things and i’ll always be here for you whenever you need me!!! Sending you much love!!! ✨🥹🩷
thank you so so so much amanda! i'm so glad to wake up everyday and remember that i'm in a world that has you in it!
YOU’RE SO CUTE!!! thank u!!! 🥹🥹✨✨✨✨✨✨
as usual, a lovely essay. also your book sounds wonderful 💗
this is so sweet, rachel thank you. you are so loved.
i clicked on this post because the title intrigued me (are you French ? if not it’s a sweet/tender way to say “hi”)
and now im really intrigued by your novel, I like how your describe the depth of your characters, I hope writing help you <3
i am french :) my family is haitian and french (crazy i know) and i’m so glad you picked up on that <333 tysm for reading. this comment means the world to me.
i reply in English cuz it feels weird speaking French here😭 I felt like everyone was from the us (and especially from nyc)😭 I really like it haha !
(ps: I don’t think it’s crazy to be haitian and french haha (not in a mean way!!!) <3)