49 Comments

yeah, existing as a woman can be really hard. I don't know how the hell we fix all the indoctrination that has been going on the past few years. it's easier than ever to spread propaganda and people are being exposed to it younger and younger.

as for the question of why the violence? we're not supposed to be fully formed beings. to a misogynist, the only good woman is one who exists solely to please the men around her -- can't have our own thoughts and opinions and desires, because we're just an extension of them. I mean, that's what successful propaganda does, right? make people think that those they can categorize as "the other" are somehow not as human as them. there are a lot of people who have superiority complexes and need to feel like they are better than the rest of us -- ego is a large part of this equation as well, I think.

I also think there's a certain level of brainwashing we all go thru to exist in this capitalistic white supremacist society, so a not insignificant number of people are kind of predisposed to fall into these far right conspiracy theories. I remember one of the readings I did for my intro gender studies course saying that once you start seeing the propaganda for what it is, the world falls off its axis. for a lot of people, it's easier (and more comforting) to double down and retreat further into these far right communities than to start unraveling the lies they've internalized. we are very stubborn species (unfortunately) and people don't like feeling like they are wrong, so they need to force the world to match their beliefs.

and while your mom isn't wrong when she says not all men are like this -- it is a *choice* to buy into the propaganda, not anything inherent to being a man! -- I hate when it's brought up in these conversations. bc the reminder doesn't offer anything on how to fix the problem, it feels like it's just a way to try to minimize things and stop the conversation all together.

I feel like this is the most I've rambled in a comment. I'm sure this is ridiculously long -- sorry! Anyway. love you and I hope it's a better day when you see this 💗

Expand full comment
author

this is SUCH a beautiful and well crafted response rachel. god your mind is like a diamond. thank you for always being here. 🤍

Expand full comment

this response is so nice I’m going to cry :’)

Expand full comment

This is so goddamn good. Writing with real teeth to it. You can feel it take a bite right out of you.

Expand full comment
author

thank you so much logan. this means the world to me 🤍

Expand full comment

Glad to hear it and to have found you here. This is exactly the kind of work I want to see here. I look forward to reading more of your work!

Expand full comment
Sep 9·edited Sep 9Liked by allyson.

this is beautifully painful. i appreciate your vulnerability and how every sentence you crafted is so charged with all the emotions you are trying to convey. it’s so hard to be here, to live in this body and to exist among them. i am tired with you and exhausted to be so afraid to just be ..

Expand full comment
author

this is such a lovely and intentional comment. thank you so much for leaving it. i love knowing that i have readers like you who can find themselves in what i write. i hate that you know what it's like to feel like this, but i hope you know you are not alone. <3

Expand full comment

thank you for writing. we all in this together <3

Expand full comment

this was heart wrenching and beautiful, you’ve perfectly described how i feel - how all women feel, every, day. truly such an amazing and vital piece.

Expand full comment
author

catalina i adore you. i’m so sorry you can relate but i am so glad you’re here <33

Expand full comment

<3333 can't wait to read more

Expand full comment

So completely beautiful and heartbreaking. I’ve been looking at the “good men” in my life and realising I genuinely trust very few of them. They would look the other way, stay silent, shrug. I am so tired of this.

Expand full comment
author

thank you so so much for reading kristy. trust me when i say i’m just as exhausted 🤍

Expand full comment

Thank you for this. I kept trying to choose excerpts to share, but every single line is already in my heart. I am currently on my bleed and have been sitting heavy with the weight of womanhood. I can’t stop talking about these horrific acts of misogynistic violence. It’s like if I don’t talk about it, or don’t write about it, I truly feel like I might combust. These pains we share should not belong to us, but there’s a small solace found in each other. Incredible piece. Truly. Feeling this everywhere. ❤️‍🩹

Expand full comment
author

shelby this comment made me tear up. and i understand i feel like i’ve been quietly torn apart over and over and everyone is ignoring what’s going on. i love you and i hope you know other women feel exactly like you. you are not alone.

Expand full comment

These are things that are hard to face, so many choose not to engage with it. I think it's out of self-preservation, but it is nonetheless painful to feel like you're shouting into the void while women are being mistreated, abused, and slain. My only hope is that as we use our voices to connect to each other, more open up to the reality we are facing and decide to use theirs too. 💖

Expand full comment
Sep 8Liked by allyson.

so striking and true wow

Expand full comment
author

thank you yazmin. i love you <3

Expand full comment
Sep 8Liked by allyson.

this is so fucking good, the level of writing skill and emotion and connection here is almost overwhelming. thank you for sharing it

Expand full comment
author

eve this means so much coming from you. you are an incredible writer. i really adore you <33

Expand full comment
Sep 8Liked by allyson.

this is so kind of you <3 I love your writing so much and I can’t wait for more of it

Expand full comment

holy hell this is absolutely beautiful and amazing

Expand full comment
author

bailey, my love, i'm also so excited to see you. you are absolutely beautiful and amazing. thank you so much <33

Expand full comment

aww thank you sweets!!! and of course <33

Expand full comment

such beautiful writing, truly. reading your posts is such a pleasure. this rightfully encapsulates the way I and most women are feeling right now. idk how to explain it, but the way you write is just so raw and I can feel the emotion you put into this. sending you and every other woman out there love ❤️‍🩹

Expand full comment
author

liv you are so incredible. i truly hope more people discover you because you are a wonderful person 🤍

Expand full comment

you’re so sweet🥹🤍🤍

Expand full comment

The way you articulate words is so beautiful and immaculate, there is no other way to put it.

This is an absolute masterpiece ❤️✨

Expand full comment
author

thank you so much, wow. this is such an incredible compliment to receive. i appreciate you so much. 🤍

Expand full comment

this was so amazing to read, truly. this feels both so intimate and so universal. the writing is so beautiful

Expand full comment
author

this is such a sweet comment anastasia. ty for leaving it and for reading 🤍

Expand full comment
Sep 13Liked by allyson.

this is one of the most beautiful and biting pieces i have ever read

Expand full comment
author

this made my day. thank you so much 🤍

Expand full comment

I'm on my period right now, so the first part of this really hits haha. I really really admire the rawness and strength of your writing, and this is definitely something so many women can unfortunately relate to. I hope the world will become safer for us—or at least for our daughters.

Expand full comment
author

i saw this just before my flight and it made me smile so largely. thank you for this warm comment you’re incredible 🤍

Expand full comment

this is unbelievably heart wrenching and beautiful.. I feel the need to frame these words and hang them up

Expand full comment
author

this comment is unbelievably beautiful. thank you so much for leaving it 🤍

Expand full comment

Absolutely stunning, visceral, ‘softly & violently’ hurtful and beautiful. The pain is a machine. Your writing is so so real, so beautiful.

Expand full comment
author

saher you are incredible and this comment really touched me. everything you create is a pleasure to read and i’m so glad i could give back that feeling for once. 🤍

Expand full comment