hip swell vol. iv
hip swell vol. iv
my august - september favorites.
every time i get sick, i cry at least once.
There’s a dull, relentless pressure behind my sinuses like a heavy hand pressing down that I just can’t summon the strength to push away. My call log is flooded with my parents—though mostly my mother.
I keep drifting in and out of sleep, cradled by comfort media and the thick warmth beneath my pink palm-tree duvet. I stack the matching pillows beneath my head at night to give myself a fighting chance and then I reach over and drop the temperature of my flat to a cruel 16° C (60° F) ‘cause that’s how I sleep back home.
Every time I speak, that sticky southern syrup of my upbringing is smeared across every word. I didn’t speak for an entire day on Wednesday, releasing some pressure. Still, I’ve found time to sway in front of my floor-to-ceiling window, letting Stevie Nicks and the sharp edge of fall air reanimate me. In those moments, it’s like I’ve come home.
While I’m nowhere near ready to spin the threads of my mommy issues essay into one big web, I thought I could at least share some favorites from the past two months.
I don’t think I’ve ever explained why this series is called “hip swell”. Swelling in the hips is caused by bursitis.
Bursitis is painful swelling in a small, fluid-filled sac called a bursa. Bursae (the plural of bursa) cushion spaces around bones and other tissue. Hip bursitis happens when the bursa in your hip becomes irritated and swells. The two most common types of hip bursitis are: Iliopectineal bursitis.1
That soft cushioning is what these pieces are named after, though I wasn’t initially fond of how bursae looked when I started working out the structure. But it was exactly what I meant. These recommendations are what carry me through the highs and lows, cushioning the best and worst moments of my days, weeks, and months.
Anyway, I don’t have much to say this time, except that my birthday is about forty-one days away. I already know what I want—looking forward to indulging—but I need some opinions.
For the longest time I’ve wanted to get a tattoo, and I know people say it doesn’t always have to be something with meaning, but I want it to be. It’ll be with me as I grow older, and when my nieces and nephews ask about it, I want to have a story to tell. I want something to hide for a while until I’m ready for my mother to find out.
The thing about being raised Roman Catholic is you’re taught there are maybe three “acceptable” ways to be feminine and beautiful. The thing about being raised in a household of women is that you learn that’s a load of shit. So, you plan to get ink in places where shorts can cover it in the summer, and lingerie will brush against it when the heat’s on. At least for the first one.
Now, for the opinions: should I add a small rose after the quote? And if so, should it be in color or greyscale to match the font?
Also, if you have any tips for a first-time tattoo, I’m all ears.
Mmm, that’s enough for now. Just a reminder: when I say I love you, I mean it. I have so much of it inside me, and none of it is ever love lost.
⟡ literary pieces: essays + analysis.
i watched the fall enter through my window by
my mother by
(Note: I teared up. What a fucking punch to the gut.)your fave is selling a pedophilic fantasy by
(Note: This was so good I was sending this to random people just so they could read it.)creating spaces with alexandra coburn of alexandraleaving by
&(Note: I have this thing where I read things and based on the feel it gives me, I decide whether or not I would go to dinner with them. I would very much like to experience dinner with these wonderful people.)
Literally anything by
and —I think some people in life are just incredibly magnetic. I feel a sense of muted pleasure when I read whatever they decide to share. They are just phenomenal, lovely creatives.i’m going to a funeral tomorrow by
. (Note: This piece is so special to me simply because it’s honest. I didn’t cry when my grandfather died and I only burst into tears at the funeral, which is also the first time I’ve ever seen my father cry. It made me feel less alone.)autodidact by
. .⟡ interviews and profiles.
Meet Our Fall Cover Star: Dakota Fanning.
(Note: She is so endearing to me. I really love her. I also love when interviewers write in a more personal way when doing profiles.)
Kelly Wearstler and Takashi Murakami on Falling in Love and Leaving a Legacy.
THE POWER THAT BE: MUSTAFA THE POET.
Fall Fashion as Envisioned by Nadia Lee Cohen.
(Note: Nadia is one of my favorite creative people in the world. However, I feel like I would need at least two martinis before chatting with her.)
⟡ books.
Wild and Wicked Things by Francesca May.
An Education in Malice by S.T. Gibson.
⟡ films.
You Won’t Be Alone (2022) dir. Goran Stolevski.
The Witch (2015) dir. Robert Eggers.
Practical Magic (1998) dir. Griffin Dunne.
La Piscine (1969) dir. Jacques Deray.
Monster (2023) dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda.
⟡ music.
“Crystal” by Stevie Nicks.
“Gods & Monsters” by Lana Del Rey.
“Give Up” by FKA Twigs.
“Estate” by João Gilberto.
“Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” by Bob Dylan.
“California” by Lana Del Rey.
⟡ podcasts.
The Grand Tourist with Dan Rubinstein.
Episode: “The world’s most coveted bag: the Birkin” on Style-ish.
Episode: “thought daughters 01” on maya and fola take over the world.
Episode: “Beauty Bio: The importance of ‘90s model Jenny Shimizu when it comes to race and sexuality” on BeautyMe with Charisse Kenion.
Episode: Luxury Fashion’s Designer Diversity Problem on the The Business of Fashion Podcast.
⟡ wishlist.
soft spot phlur perfume
a pair of elevated flats
⟡ brain dump. — things that have been sticking with me
the work of kelly wearstler
style-ish podcast
after work drinks patreon
dua lipa once again. she truly radiates warmth.
& other stories fall 2024 launch
bossa nova
stevie knicks
witchy films and shows
lana del rey obtaining a marriage license and the phenomenon of women who are 30+ getting married quickly because “you reach an age where you just know” and how i feel it’s more the stress of feeling like you don’t have any time left. she’s real for the fall wedding though, especially in october (you have 30 days to get married after obtaining the license).
also, i’m extremely happy for her. my girl deserves the world. i know she wants children and i hope they are super happy together. she’s going to look beautiful.
emerald fennell’s adaptation of wuthering heights and the way she completely ignored the themes of racism and colorism by casting jacob elordi.
karissa love’s tattoo placements
ha vay + her music
maya2 and i saying we need a cigarette constantly but refusing to smoke ever. our exact conversation was this:
the caster chronicles
going home
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/21118-hip-pain
changed her name just slightly for her privacy.
loved this love u
the mommy issues essay is going to be generational